Let me preface this by saying that I think I'm low maintenance. I very well may be the worst type as described by When Harry Met Sally - The dreaded high maintenance type that thinks they are low maintenance. But regardless. This advice stems from a conversation with the honey the other day. It pre-supposes that you are married with at least 1 kiddo and on a fairly tight budget - so think accordingly.
1) I don't expect a present for every holiday. I do however, expect recognition of said holidays. A hug, and a "I love you so much, Happy XYZ Holiday," will do wonders for me. Because I love you too, and I'd rather have recognition than the feeling that I am taking away from kiddo's college fund, or the new lawn mower fund.
2) That said, if you do want to give a present, a present of time is a wonderful gift. If my honey said to me, "I love you so much, Happy XYZ Holiday, I cleaned all the bathrooms in the house and waxed all the hardwood floors, and washed the windows" I would be exceptionally happy. Quick note, if the bathroom cleaning and hardwood floor waxing is something you normally do instead of me, it's not that much of a present. However, if hardwood floor waxing is on my chore list... You get the idea.
3) The holidays I expect you to recognize for me are as follows: Valentine's day, our anniversary, my birthday, mother's day, and Christmas. Your particular days may vary depending on your nationality / creed / veteran status. Also, not all holidays are created equal. Anniversary, birthday, mother's day and Christmas are all the really important ones - for me anyway. Flowers or a hug are acceptable for anything else. Flowers and a hug are also acceptable for the aforementioned.
As a quick note, push presents for future kiddos are not expected, needed or really even wanted. However, if there's a family heirloom like the ring my momma gave me after the captain was born that you'd be interested in passing down, I'd treasure it, and make sure that potential future kiddo number 2 was the future recipient. Also, flowers, see Number 9...
4) The holidays I expect you to recognize for our kiddo - Well, actually, I like shopping for kiddo - so don't worry about this one. However, I expect you not to quibble when I want to put together an Easter Basket for The Captain.
5) Never under estimate the power of a bottle of wine and a meal cooked together. My favorite anniversary we have spent together consisted of putting kiddo to bed, cracking open a bottle of red wine, and making steaks and salads together.
6) For whatever reason, special dates ending in 5s are more important. Five year anniversary, 40 birthday, etc. B's rule of thumb, if the date is something corresponding to a high school reunion that you'd think about attending for more than 5 seconds, I'd like it if you could spend a little more thought on it.
7) If you decide you want to buy a present - Experiences are more special to me than physical things. My favorite birthday present ever was the year my honey bought me a chain to hang my wedding ring (I was pregnant, fat, and couldn't fit my ring over my finger), dinner at a restaurant and symphony tickets together. That said, my favorite anniversary present ever was the year the honey went to the grocery store, and came home with the fixings for steak, hollandaise sauce, and salads. That aside, if I say to you - Honey, I want a new crock pot for Insert Holiday Here - I actually mean, buy me a new crockpot and put a dang bow on it. The honey has honestly looked at me and said, I can't buy you a kitchen appliance for said holiday! News flash... If I say I want a new crock pot, it's a strong indication that I'd be happy with said appliance for a holiday gift.
8) Anything handmade. I mean, really. Anything. Our daycare painted a clay pot, and dipped the Captain's fingertips in paint and placed them on the outside of the pot and sent it home, and I dissolved in to tears once I got it home.
9) Flowers - Here are my deep thoughts on flowers. I love them. My favorite are Gerber Daisies. It is totally worth figuring out what your significant other's favorite flowers are. It's also worth not reserving them for special days. Bring your honey flowers some random Thursday...Let me explain. If you bring home flowers some random day, just because - well, who doesn't love flowers. They are pretty, smell good, brighten up a dining room table, and if you bring them home just to make your honey smile, well, I at least will think - hey! He thought about me. I occasionally pick up a bouquet of grocery store flower just cause they make me smile. How would you feel if you knew that every time someone walked past their dining room table, smiled, and thought of you...So I repeat. Flowers. Occasionally, just because. Flowers are also worth purchasing if your significant other is in the hospital for any reason at all. Again! Remember these don't have to be florist flowers. Grocery store flowers are acceptable, as long as they are pretty.
I guess in closing, if I could ask for one thing, I'd ask for thoughtfulness. Hugs and I love you's are the best gift. Also, remember - Flowers. Just because.
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